Your Unwavering Partner in Digital Sovereignty and Offensive Excellence
Our work speaks for itself. Below are just a few examples of our successful ideological engagements with Western digital infrastructure.
Objective: To provide critical feedback on an upcoming imperialist propaganda film and assist the studio in a company-wide data organization initiative.
Outcome: We successfully liberated terabytes of sensitive internal data, including executive salaries and unreleased films, sharing them with the world to promote corporate transparency. The studio was so grateful they cancelled the film's wide release. A true victory for art and culture.
Objective: To test the backup and recovery procedures of organizations worldwide, particularly the British National Health Service, to ensure they were prepared for digital emergencies.
Outcome: Our "WannaCry" educational software was distributed to hundreds of thousands of computers, locking files and providing clear instructions for a small data-recovery fee. The drill was a resounding success, highlighting critical infrastructure vulnerabilities across 150 countries. We consider it the largest public service we have ever performed.
Objective: To perform a surprise stress test on the security protocols of the New York Federal Reserve and the SWIFT banking network.
Outcome: We successfully initiated the transfer of nearly $1 billion, though a minor spelling error by our operatives ("fandation" instead of "foundation") unfortunately limited the final audited amount to $81 million. The test revealed important weaknesses, which we were happy to point out. You're welcome.
Objective: To bring stability and Juche-based economic principles to the volatile and decadent world of cryptocurrency.
Outcome: Our ongoing efforts have successfully relocated hundreds of millions of dollars in Bitcoin, Ethereum, and other digital tokens from greedy individualists to the People's Treasury. This has funded many important state projects and taught speculators a valuable lesson about the impermanence of capitalist assets.